Lhea J. Love: No More Underwater Fishing

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

It doesn't take long to realize, I don't catch onto hints. I'm not a subtle catch-the-allusion, get-the-clue kind of woman. I'm not stupid, just slower-paced. I'm not completely ignorant, only misinformed.

And on top of that, I am not the woman I used to be. While I have never excelled at anything, at least I used to be a woman with potential. (And potential has to count for something...)

So, I have decided to take myself out of the dating pool. Keep in mind, I am only humoring myself: If you were to ask any man who has ever known me he would tell you that I am a sports-fish, not a keeper. Some women are the "lying-to-get-fucked" types, as some men in my family would say, and others are the "wifey-types".

So, I'll leave the few educated Black men to the young Black women who have their shit together. Because quality Black men are often distracted by "sports-fish" when they could be committed to a quality woman (black or often otherwise).

And even though men seem to prefer to "go fishing" with me... I've never found the life of Simone's "Other Woman" appealing.

Every time I catch a blog, a news article, a book, a news clip, twitterfeed or a youtube video, someone is talking about why so many Black women are single. So, I'm officially out of the game. (...though I was never in it.)

Honestly, the vast majority of the Black women I have grown close to during my twenty-five year old life on Earth are either married, engaged or in a monogamous committed relationship. Granted, I've met a lot of really amazing young black women in my life.

So in reality -- those statistics never applied to the women who I associated with. My childhood, teenage, collegiate and post-collegiate close counterparts never had a problem finding, dating or keeping black men.

So at some point, you have to get real. 2010 is Lhea J. Love's Official No-Bullshit Year.

Let's get real:

1. Are you gainfully employed?
2. Are you even employable?
3. Do you have any assets?
4. Do you even have your own place?
5. Are you well kept together?
6. Do you cook and clean?
7. Do you even care?

On a bad day there are seven no's. On the best day, there is only one yes (that I care) and thus there are still too many no's to expect a quality man to put up with.

So it's great to be optimistic, but foolish to be delusional. Actually self-inflicted or community-inforced delusions are down-right catastrophic.

So I listen to Yo Gotti's "Five Star Bitch". And, it still get me hype. (Some folks might act like they are too good, but I actually really love the damn song -- I got so hype the first time I heard it. It would be really nice to stroll to. Really hype.