Foolishly

Foolishly, I thought that my purpose in life was to introduce an idea, or tell a story that would change someone's life - for the better.

Now, that I realize that my purpose in life is to be a joke. Perhaps I am here for the amusement of others.

I count to Ten, and by the time I get to five, I am either laughing hysterically or crying uncontrollably. Or, some weird manic combination of the two.

Foolishly, I thought that all I needed was a mentor. Every biography I've ever read, is just a lineage of who influenced who. All I needed, or so I thought, was a little guidance.

However, if I would have known, that I would lose everything that I cared about (every relationship, New York, publishing, job, Delta, reputation, privacy) in pursuit of a teacher, clearly I would have rather kept my life - and taught my damned self.

But this is my life - alone, hated by thousands, mocked by media, a pitiful representation of a Delta Woman (I took the plate off), of a Black Woman, of a Detroiter, of a Wolverine. This is my life, pitiful as it may be, and I am the only one that can live it.